I have to say. What frustrates me the most is not knowing how to say how I feel. I HATE that. For me, at least if I can verbalize what is going on inside then I can handle it. I feel so lost and well, pissed off, when I can't just say what I mean. And I can't. Right now. I FEEL but can't put into words what I am feeling. So I got up and wrote this in an effort to, I don't know, release something. Today has been an emotional roller coaster. I'm tired. I want off. I want clarity and direction. I WANT TO MOVE ON! Think I just said how I feel....

Onto a tangent, today Caleb learned about Isaiah. His Sunday School teacher, you know who you are, did an AWESOME job. He told me all about Isaiah and his vision while we ate lunch. Caleb was particularly fascinated by the burning coal. I used the conversation as an opportunity to talk about God's love and forgiveness. Along the way he asked, "What's his name?"
I reply, "Who? Isaiah?"
"No. The other one."
"God?"
"Yeah! God. He loves me?"---this was asked with much enthusiasm.
"Yes, He does. Very much."
With his eyes wide and his mouth open in a huge smile Caleb goes, "Will he play in my playroom?!?!?!?!"
What do you say? I smiled and assured him God would love to play with him in his playroom. Now how to explain when Caleb is asking why God hasn't showed up yet, that He has. He really has.